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So I did MDMA tonight lul..I feel really good, and I’m not high anymore. That ruled.
Edit: to add to that..Lately I’ve been doing okay. I didn’t really do much the last couple days other than work and play guitar. I went from being able to play 10-15 minutes of guitar to playing for 4-5+ hours at a time again. I sort of know what I have to do to get out of this, I feel like I can do it on my own, but I’m not 100% sure.
Ephraim said:
I find it very creepy that people are discussing this on a gaming club forum. If you have actually attempted to kill yourself, then you are in dire need of psycological help and, in all likelihood, medication. The last thing you need to do is discuss your problems with a large collection of college students with no history of psycological studies.
I made this thread assuming no one here has had any history of psychological troubles/history. I made this thread to vent my frustration, I felt like I needed to get some stuff of my chest. Last time I opened up was to my best friend. I told him some pretty *edited*ed up things. It felt good talking to my best friend about it, but he took it pretty bad I guess. He went home and must have been terribly upset, because his parents know about how I’ve been feeling and they called my parents and suggested I go on medication and seek help. I haven’t seen his parents in a few weeks now and I’m scared to go to his house, because I don’t know how to face them. I love them, they’re like a second family to me. However, I have been talking to a friend of mine who has been pretty down lately, she’s not like my best friend or anything, but shes going through a pretty *edited*ty time right now. It feels good talking to someone who is going through something similar. We both promised each other we’d never take our own lives, no matter how hard it gets.
I dunno how I’ve been feeling lately. Sort of in between happy and sad lul.
MasterP said:
Since libs aren’t awesome, they aren’t allowed to play with Team Awesome.
My facebook political views are “moderate” though
MajorMajorMajor said:
l4d @ 10 tonight
sending pms
me and dice are already down
hopefully more can as well.
NO MERCY TIME
You guys play l4d 1 or 2? I checked this game out and it seems pretty sick. I’m a huge Resident Evil fan, and I love pwning zombayz. Probably going to get Tf2 as well.
Not going to pretend like I know much about him, but from what I’ve heard, buddy is *edited*ed. Didn’t he say small business owners should have the right to deny service to blacks? That’s *edited*ed. I lol’d pretty hard when he criticized Obama for being too hard on BP. As far as I’m concerned, the BP executives should be publicly executed (but thats a different subject).
MajorMajorMajor said:
This should help you feel better:
LOL you always know how to make me feel better.
NuRayZ said:
you know what helps? Shrooms.
a few hours solving the mysteries of the universe always makes me feel 20x better the next day.
I did shrooms last Saturday with 3 of my best friends. We spent hours wandering around in the woods, it ruled.
That being said, for some reason, this week has turned out to be really great. Hopefully it continues this way.
Bitey said:
That is a good place to start, just so I know where do you work and what do you do there? Sometimes a job can be your X-Factor the thing that is dragging you down, and it gets even worse when you are already in a negative state of mind. I mean I hate my job right now, I am living pay check to pay check with it but I know that I gotta have it so I keep going to it. As soon as something better comes along I will be moving on to something else. Taking a week off and planning to do things you love is a great idea, try every day to not stay in bed and mope, get out and enjoy your hobbies and if that isn’t working call up a friend, and hell if nobody is available get online and play some games with us, anything to keep from having to be alone and letting the silence and sadness take over.
I work for a moving company. Normally its just a summer job for me, but since I didn’t get my student loan/had to move back I’ve been doing it since January. It’s not a bad job, I do actually sort of enjoy it, but it can be very stressful at times. I’m trying to find a new job right now, but I’m not really having much luck. It’s not that big a deal though, since I don’t really hate my job or anything. It’s kind of *edited*ty outside right now, so going for another hike in the woods is out of the question. I called my friend who lives like a 5 minute walk away, he’s amazing at guitar, we’re going to jam this evening!
Duendes said:
It’s called a week’s worth of daycations. It seems to work from an economical pov, plus it’s a good way to destress quickly.
Has nobody read my op? Lock em’s got to find his niche, like a long term goal whether it be a 5 year long or a 50 year long mission. You said that you’ve been playing the guitar for 7 years. Ever thought of teaching it to kids or getting a job at a music company/store? You should try doing what you love. If you’re going to teach, make it your goal to have a kid learn the guitar *edited* well. If you want to work with a guitar company, make sure you find the right education to get you there. If you’re not sure if you’re really into guitars (I’m just using that as an example btw) then go out and try new things. Find a long term objective and make it your job to accomplish it.
I have a long term goal! I plan on going back to university in the fall and doing political science (if I have the money), and then maybe law school after my undergrad. Guitar isn’t really something I see myself making a career around. Obviously if I had the chance to make it big in a band or something, I’d do that, but thats not very likely. There’s a music store around here that I could apply to, but it’s pretty hard to get on over there I’ve heard. I’ve never really considered teaching guitar before though. Will definitely take some music courses in school though.
MasterP said:
rcon_l@nce said:
Should all of the Catholic officials condemn for the Catholic extremists that have recently made the news?
They are just as wrong as the Arab officials in this sense, but of course that isn’t brought up as an argument because, as the majority, why would Catholics in this country ever admit their wrongs?
The Catholic “extremists” have been heavily condemned by high-profile Catholic leaders and religious representatives speaking to the media. From day one.
rcon_l@nce said:
And when did “the majority” refuse to condemn “the minority” and their actions?
Not a single high-profile Islam leader has condemned the actions of extremests. Not one Imam (preacher) has condemned the actions of the 9/11 hijackers. Sure they give the generic “we grieve for your loss” statement but never has their action actually been condemned. Whenever an Imam was cornered by Fox News he kept ducking the question and changing the topic.
rcon_l@nce said:
All Muslims are not terrorists and should have the ability to live and pray where they want, how they want. As the “melting pot” of the world, why do people still feel the need to label majority and minority? Can people not accept one another as equals and treat them as they would like to be treated?
That’s the thing, they already pray where they want, how they want. They do it in airports and planes, in subways and other mass transit. Whenever someone gets freaked out by their actions and report them, even when their actions warrant looking in to, the reporting person is sued for everything they own, their face is put on the cover of every newspaper, and the press labels them a racist bigot. We can now no longer report suspecious behavior at our most travelled, and most vulnerable, mass transit locations. Call me paranoid but that almost seems planned.
I’ve been in classes with Iranians, Pakistanis, and Saudis. I have no problem with them and at least on the surface they seem like decent human beings. What I do have a problem with is the en mass complacency the “mainstream” religion of Islam has towards its extremists. If a Babtist preacher discovered that one of his congregation was planning a terrorist attack, you know *edited* well he’d report it to the cops. If an Muslim Imam discovered the same, can you honestly sit there with a straight face and place your life in his hands that he’d do the same? If there’s even a shred of doubt then you sir have no right to take any form of moral high ground in this argument.
Answer this, if a Christian extremist group destroyed the Abraj Al Bait Towers in Mecca do you really think they’d let christians build a church in part of the ruin?
MajorMajorMajor said:
Freezer said:
you will probably flame me for saying this but I don’t have a big problem with it. it wasn’t the entire Muslim faith that attacked us, it was the minority.
agreed
x2
Bitey said:
lockEm said:
Bitey said:
As for the girl, don’t feel like it is over, in a year she might dump that guy, keep being you, because odds are she likes you for who you are, this desperate *edited* of trying to kill yourself doesn’t look good to her, it looks just like what it is, desperate. You can still salvage your situation by being confident in you and finding the niche for your life that you need to express that. Although some girls have the “I need to fix you” syndrome, not all girls do, so if she has the choice between depressed suicidal boy and the other guy I think the choice is easy to make. Anyways, *edited* your friend for *edited* blocking you, that ain’t right, but you can’t dwell on that, have to move on and forward. Jealousy isn’t attractive, neither are the other traits you’re displaying right now.Well the thing about her is, she only dated my friend for a month lul, but when I was away from school she dated and *edited*ed a bunch of dudes I went to high school with. I know how pathetic I may seem, but that *edited* hurts. It still bothers me, but I’m mostly passed that now. I’m not as concerned about the original causes anymore. I just feel miserable all the time for no apparent reason anymore. I’d be lying if I said I’m 100% over that girl/friend, but whatever. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. She’s single, but we don’t really talk that much anymore. Maybe hang out once a week. I ruined my friendship with my best friend by being a jealous/depressed retard. Maybe one day we can be friends again. I’m not even concerned about money/school right now. Some days I feel okay, but most of the time theres just this horrible sadness that haunts me and I can’t figure out why. I really think I’ve made good progress past the original causes (school, money, girls, stressing about the future), but I still feel terrible, if not worse.
I understand, it is good that you have gotten past those things, but getting past them is just the first step, you may always feel sad, but the point is to push past the sadness and find something that makes you feel happy, this is a big world, if you can’t find one thing in it that makes you happy, then yeah I dunno how you lived 22 years lol. But with all seriousness, you at least know there are people that care about you, whether it be tough love or understanding love, it is love all the same, it is someone taking time out of their day to chat with you about this. Every day will be a fight, and is a fight for most people. I really think that for you that you need to really find something as a hobby that you really enjoy, spend most of your time doing that, and it will most likely envelope the sadness and eventually make it come less often and be easier to deal with. It is just an idea and it may not work because I am not doctor, but it is what worked for me and so that is the best advice I can give you.
I have a hobby. It’s playing guitar. I’ve been playing guitar for the past 7-8 years. Lately I find it difficult to pick it up and play for more than 10-15 minutes. It’s so hard to concentrate on the things I enjoy now. I love going out with friends and having a good time, but sometimes I would just rather lay in bed and dwell on the negative *edited* (I don’t actually want to do that, it just feels that way).
I tried to go to work today, I went to the bathroom to take a *edited* before my shift started, I just looked at myself in the mirror and broke down crying and had to leave. I’m going to take the week off work I think. I can’t handle going back there right now. If I do take the week off I’m going to focus on music and exercising. I sort of have a plan.
Bitey said:
As for the girl, don’t feel like it is over, in a year she might dump that guy, keep being you, because odds are she likes you for who you are, this desperate *edited* of trying to kill yourself doesn’t look good to her, it looks just like what it is, desperate. You can still salvage your situation by being confident in you and finding the niche for your life that you need to express that. Although some girls have the “I need to fix you” syndrome, not all girls do, so if she has the choice between depressed suicidal boy and the other guy I think the choice is easy to make. Anyways, *edited* your friend for *edited* blocking you, that ain’t right, but you can’t dwell on that, have to move on and forward. Jealousy isn’t attractive, neither are the other traits you’re displaying right now.Well the thing about her is, she only dated my friend for a month lul, but when I was away from school she dated and *edited*ed a bunch of dudes I went to high school with. I know how pathetic I may seem, but that *edited* hurts. It still bothers me, but I’m mostly passed that now. I’m not as concerned about the original causes anymore. I just feel miserable all the time for no apparent reason anymore. I’d be lying if I said I’m 100% over that girl/friend, but whatever. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. She’s single, but we don’t really talk that much anymore. Maybe hang out once a week. I ruined my friendship with my best friend by being a jealous/depressed retard. Maybe one day we can be friends again. I’m not even concerned about money/school right now. Some days I feel okay, but most of the time theres just this horrible sadness that haunts me and I can’t figure out why. I really think I’ve made good progress past the original causes (school, money, girls, stressing about the future), but I still feel terrible, if not worse.
NuRayz, I know what you’re saying. I obviously don’t have it as bad as some people. I just feel miserable like 70% of the time. I’m not asking for people to feel sorry, I’m asking if people have gone through this and what they did to get out of it. Everyones experience is different I guess. I don’t believe in God, but I went for a long hike in the woods by myself not too long ago after it rained (it was beautiful out) and it did feel really good afterwards, but unfortunately that sadness came back.
Hopefully this weekend involves drinking and partying.
