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MasterP said:
FYI since the government took over the student loan business it’s become alot harder to get one and it takes months to find out you’ve been turned down. Yes you read right, the poor with decent credit actually get turned down now once the quota has been reached. Sad IMO.
This has been the leading cause of my stomach ulcers for the past 4 years. Already massively in debt due to these loans and I still need to pay for another year. I’ve never missed a payment nor have I defaulted on anything besides loans. Still get a whopping 10.275% interest rate when I do get accepted.
Gotta love that.
I have a difficult time distinguishing between stress and depression. I feel the two should be separate because they elicit two different biological responses but they tend to go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. They also make a positive feedback loop which sucks.
Stress is definitely a leading cause for depression, especially when you are like us students who have a heaping loan hanging over their head. Worst way to try and start life…. Doesn’t mean it isn’t doable though.
Toranky-
I can relate to the father bit. I’m a 2nd generation Asian-American as well and the the two societies sometimes doesn’t mix well while growing up. Most parents who move to the states usually come from a less relaxing, collective society that is very different (& opposite) to the more relaxed American individualist culture. A big reason as to why people move to the states is because of opportunity. For example, if your born poor in vietnam, you usually stay poor no matter what you try to do wherease in the states, a kid in the ghetto can end up living in a mansion in Bel Air. Basically what I’m saying is your parents and their parents grew up trying to pursue very hard every opportunity that comes up, which came around very rarely. Now in the states, that’s everywhere so there are constant opportunities popping up regardless of how big they are (eg: ever see your dad grab a big ol’ handful of napkins from McD’s? or find a sale on strawberries and buy practically a crates worth?). There are other aspects that each society oppose such as forms of discipline (eg: it’s okay to hit your child in Asia but in the states that’s a HUGE sign of child abuse). Also the whole favoring one child bit which seems to be a trend with Asian families. Well, my dad came into the states with the same mindset coming from Malaysia with parents from Communist China who both were in the military during WWII. There was one summer where he saw the local store selling steaks for 99 cents a pound, filled up our freezer with them, told me that was my meal for the summer (June to August) and took off. He’s a doctor and yet he still desperately grabs those little opportunities. Now what I’m getting at here is that these 2nd generation kids end up living in two different & contradicting worlds at the same time, which easily leads to confusion and depression.
Sorry for that rant but it was meant to briefly explain the subculture of 1st, 2nd generation Asian-Americans and a bit of 3rd generation even.
It was frustrating for me as well Torank. My dad refused to believe that I had a learning disability and disciplined me greatly when I couldn’t figure out the simplest things. I couldn’t comprehend what my name was until around 1st grade but my nonverbal IQ is the top 99.999 percentile (low verbal but insanely high nonverbal ring a bell to anyone?). Heck, I was off-enough to believe I was more of a nuisance to the world (by comparing the amount of “happiness” & “upset” I caused) and I was better of “not existing” so I tried to become hypothermic by opening my windows during the winter and taking off my warm clothes (this was still around 1st grade so I had no sharp objects in my room). My dad did his fair share of “mind*edited*s” as well. Once, he brought me to a Best Buy and said I could grab any number of DVDs that I wanted. I was happy beyond belief and grabbed what I wanted. Later that night, my dad came into my room, took all of the DVDs and said, “You’re no longer allowed to watch these”. I never could understand what he was disciplining me for to this day. Anyways, the mix of the old world and the new caused confusion about who I was and it didn’t really help with creating relationships with other kids in school. I’ve gotten much better, set a series of goals in my life and figured out who I really am. I still get short periods of depression but I’ve caught exactly what triggers them and now try to avoid it when I can(I would have to see a counselor myself if I wanted to come to peace with it, but I don’t have the time, $, nor do I want to proceed with it).
We live in a society where we need others to keep us going. Torank, it’s great that you have your boyfriend to help support you in numerous ways, but I suggest you add to that list of trusted friends. As of right now, you’re putting all your eggs in one basket and I can already see problems with that in the future for you.
Bitey- stress can lead to depression but at least many students can relate to each other about the loans issue and normalize it.
I want to make the argument that Iron-fisted fathers tend to be a global phenomena rather than just with Asians, cept I don’t feel like rehashing stories of my childhood. I feel like I can tell a story of insane frugal behavior to disciplines involving the “peter-beater” that would display your guy’s fathers as well. (yes i called toranky a guy)
I may just be drawing some parallels between each experience while oblivious to the nuances but I guess I see things as universal rather than separate by a social construct.
I was just trying to relate to torank so she won’t feel like she’s the only asian american experiencing the issue. Yes, there are fathers out in other societies that do the same thing but the reason why they do it and their societies opinion on it tends to be different. I was explaining it in a social psych sort of way.
dude my best friends growing up were these two asian kids who lived at the end of the street. Their dad use to take a bamboo stick and whip them for doing anything less than perfection. Also made them stand on their knees for hours. Other being an abusive crazy *edited* of a parent, he seems pretty normal, and actually really nice to me and my brother. Still though, now the two brothers are both drug addicts and depressed; which i’m sure was caused from all the abuse they took from their father.
also if saying “there are people with a lot more problems in the world than you” *edited*es you off, then you are missing the point. I didn’t say it to make him feel better, but just as a reminder. We tend to be a little egocentric when we are depressed, breaking that helps sometimes. or taking a trip to view the world from space. *edited* that would be awesome lol.
NuRayZ said:
also if saying “there are people with a lot more problems in the world than you” *edited*es you off, then you are missing the point. I didn’t say it to make him feel better, but just as a reminder. We tend to be a little egocentric when we are depressed, breaking that helps sometimes. or taking a trip to view the world from space. *edited* that would be awesome lol.
As a reminder of what? That his problems are not as significant?
I wouldn’t say that we’re egocentric because they’re OUR problems. How can you be seen as self-centered when they’re YOUR issues to deal with? If you were saying that everyone was out to get you, like they were going out of their way to ruin your life, I’d say you were egocentric. You think everything is about you.
And if that’s not what you meant, then you’re looking for different word than “egocentric.”
MajorMajorMajor said:
I want to make the argument that Iron-fisted fathers tend to be a global phenomena rather than just with Asians, cept I don’t feel like rehashing stories of my childhood. I feel like I can tell a story of insane frugal behavior to disciplines involving the “peter-beater” that would display your guy’s fathers as well. (yes i called toranky a guy)
I may just be drawing some parallels between each experience while oblivious to the nuances but I guess I see things as universal rather than separate by a social construct.
LOL, I don’t care. I actually let people think I’m a guy till they figure it out.
Also, while tough dads are not exclusive to Asians, I feel like they’re more prevalent in Asian cultures. More of my [non-Asian] peers were able to get away with stuff with their parents and maybe a few of them might have a tough dad, but it feels like the opposite with Asians where you had a strict dad (or both parents; we’re leaving out the moms) and a few of them had a more lenient one. Might be just me.
My dad is actually quite laidback; he’s just verbally abusive. There’s a whole lot of other stuff, too, but I don’t think it’s characteristic of the hardass Asian dad. He’s just a douche.
Duendes said:
I was just trying to relate to torank so she won’t feel like she’s the only asian american experiencing the issue. Yes, there are fathers out in other societies that do the same thing but the reason why they do it and their societies opinion on it tends to be different. I was explaining it in a social psych sort of way.
I have a response that I was working on, but had to do something, so I put it aside. I’ll submit it later. xP I’m going to nap now. I have a headache. :[
torankusu said:
NuRayZ said:
also if saying “there are people with a lot more problems in the world than you” *edited*es you off, then you are missing the point. I didn’t say it to make him feel better, but just as a reminder. We tend to be a little egocentric when we are depressed, breaking that helps sometimes. or taking a trip to view the world from space. *edited* that would be awesome lol.
As a reminder of what? That his problems are not as significant?
I wouldn’t say that we’re egocentric because they’re OUR problems. How can you be seen as self-centered when they’re YOUR issues to deal with? If you were saying that everyone was out to get you, like they were going out of their way to ruin your life, I’d say you were egocentric. You think everything is about you.
And if that’s not what you meant, then you’re looking for different word than “egocentric.”
self centered in a way. Egocentric is stretching it i guess but..
as a reminder that his problems are not significant. Actually that’s exactly what i meant. Problems don’t define a person. Everyone has them. You can ponder all day about how you became depressed, and if/when you find out what the root of the problem is, how does that help? It doesn’t really. The part that helps is the moment you decide you want to get better. To do away with the problems and to start anew. We’re all just dust in the wind man, rather than be that depressed piece of *edited*, snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s easier said than done of course. Much harder for some than others. But we are ALL capable of changing our lives for the better. Like you said, maybe that next day will bring about something good. Again, I’m no doctor, I’m merely saying what I believe, and what worked for me.
Quote:
LOL, I don’t care. I actually let people think I’m a guy till they figure it out.
tormankypanky
MajorMajorMajor said:
but they tend to go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly.
I know what dice is having for dinner now.
thanks!!!
I really don’t want to get invovlved in this thread but the best way to deal with depression is to find a doctor you can trust, a psychiatrist you can connect with, a real boyfriend/girlfrind that you can connect with on a spiritual level and isn’t just a *edited*buddy or drinking partner, avoid drugs/alcohol like the plague, get some meds if you need them, and let your life play out as it will. Try to maintain a healthy mental, emotional, and spiritual balance and whatever you do try to never think about the depression itself. Don’t use it as an excuse for failing to achieve a goal or a reason your life is the way it is. The larger part you let it play in your life, the larger part it actually becomes in your life.
Most important of all, vote Republican in November. This step is crucial to your success.
MasterP said:
I really don’t want to get invovlved in this thread but the best way to deal with depression is to find a doctor you can trust, a psychiatrist you can connect with, a real boyfriend/girlfrind that you can connect with on a spiritual level and isn’t just a *edited*buddy or drinking partner, avoid drugs/alcohol like the plague, get some meds if you need them, and let your life play out as it will. Try to maintain a healthy mental, emotional, and spiritual balance and whatever you do try to never think about the depression itself. Don’t use it as an excuse for failing to achieve a goal or a reason your life is the way it is. The larger part you let it play in your life, the larger part it actually becomes in your life.
Most important of all, vote Republican in November. This step is crucial to your success.
I agree with all, but two points. The end (because I’m actually fairly apathetic about politics at the present, keke) and the part where you say don’t use it as a reason for your life being the way it is. I agree that you shouldn’t use it as something to justify your failures. It WOULD explain it, but it doesn’t give you an excuse to continue down that path. For me, it’s a cycle that I’m trying to break. When I first started seeing one of my doctors, I told her that I didn’t want to be labeled or want to be seen as hiding behind a disorder (by people who think the way you described, using it as an excuse, blah blah blah; pretty sure my dad is one of those people so I haven’t told him I’m getting treatment), so I kept thinking they were flaws in my personality that I could correct myself. My psychologist also says this is part of the whole Asian thing discussed earlier. But anyway, I’d start out good, but slip. After trying for so long, it hasn’t worked for me, so I had to get help.
NuRayZ said:
torankusu said:
NuRayZ said:
also if saying “there are people with a lot more problems in the world than you” *edited*es you off, then you are missing the point. I didn’t say it to make him feel better, but just as a reminder. We tend to be a little egocentric when we are depressed, breaking that helps sometimes. or taking a trip to view the world from space. *edited* that would be awesome lol.
As a reminder of what? That his problems are not as significant?
I wouldn’t say that we’re egocentric because they’re OUR problems. How can you be seen as self-centered when they’re YOUR issues to deal with? If you were saying that everyone was out to get you, like they were going out of their way to ruin your life, I’d say you were egocentric. You think everything is about you.
And if that’s not what you meant, then you’re looking for different word than “egocentric.”
self centered in a way. Egocentric is stretching it i guess but..
as a reminder that his problems are not significant. Actually that’s exactly what i meant. Problems don’t define a person. Everyone has them. You can ponder all day about how you became depressed, and if/when you find out what the root of the problem is, how does that help? It doesn’t really. The part that helps is the moment you decide you want to get better. To do away with the problems and to start anew. We’re all just dust in the wind man, rather than be that depressed piece of *edited*, snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s easier said than done of course. Much harder for some than others. But we are ALL capable of changing our lives for the better. Like you said, maybe that next day will bring about something good. Again, I’m no doctor, I’m merely saying what I believe, and what worked for me.
People’s problems are significant. Maybe not to you, but it matters to them. I don’t tell people this kind of stuff because like I said earlier, you’re belittling their feelings. I see what you’re saying, I think. It sounds like you’re trying to inspire people to have the “I can overcome it, this is nothing” mindset, but not everyone can drop their problems and start fresh. If you can, it sounds like your issue is something that’s relatively short-term like, “boohoo, my gf dumped me.”
you know what helps? Shrooms.
a few hours solving the mysteries of the universe always makes me feel 20x better the next day.
NuRayZ said:
you know what helps? Shrooms.
a few hours solving the mysteries of the universe always makes me feel 20x better the next day.
I did shrooms last Saturday with 3 of my best friends. We spent hours wandering around in the woods, it ruled.
That being said, for some reason, this week has turned out to be really great. Hopefully it continues this way.
MajorMajorMajor said:
This should help you feel better:
Him being off topic….then again At least your not “him”….her?….
Ritsuka said:
MajorMajorMajor said:
This should help you feel better:
Him being off topic….then again At least your not “him”….her?….
wat
i cannot tell if you were referring to the picture being off topic or me
and who is the her
I’m sorry, but I feel shrooms can go horribly wrong as well. My friend had a trip that changed his entire demeanor.
MajorMajorMajor said:
This should help you feel better:
LOL you always know how to make me feel better.
MajorMajorMajor said:
I’m sorry, but I feel shrooms can go horribly wrong as well. My friend had a trip that changed his entire demeanor.
they can definitely go horribly wrong. You can’t do them by yourself (well some can). The people you are with have to be close friends. I would never trust field shrooms, you never know unless you have a legit herbalist with you. If you ever get near the edge, just tell yourself you’re on shrooms and you should be fine.
I find it very creepy that people are discussing this on a gaming club forum. If you have actually attempted to kill yourself, then you are in dire need of psycological help and, in all likelihood, medication. The last thing you need to do is discuss your problems with a large collection of college students with no history of psycological studies.
Ephraim said:
I find it very creepy that people are discussing this on a gaming club forum. If you have actually attempted to kill yourself, then you are in dire need of psycological help and, in all likelihood, medication. The last thing you need to do is discuss your problems with a large collection of college students with no history of psycological studies.
psychological for 2 yrs
(not much but eh)I think having people to talk to regardless of their medical efficiency on the subject is a must, and I bet any doctor would tell you that. Why do you think there are support groups? Just saying…
Just before today’s database crash, a certain member posted one of the most classless and insulting things I have ever read. Unfortunately, that post was lost before I could respond, so forgive me if this seems confusing:
Congratulations. You have just become one of only three people I have ever put on my Ignore list. For you to simply assume that I am ignorant of the subject matter and write a long, personally-insulting message based upon two innocent sentences is outrageous. For your information, an intimately close friend of mine has spent years dealing with chronic depression, two old acquaintances I hadn’t seen in ages have committed suicide within the last year, and a very good childhood friend died of an overdose last summer (possibly in a suicide attempt, brought on by the wreck that drugs had left his life and the fact that his ex-girlfriend filed a restraining order on him). I know this subject fairly well. That is why this thread struck so close to home with me. It is also why you have offended me on an unforgivable level. While it is often helpful for people with depression to discuss their problems with friends, family, and people undergoing similar treatment, you must be very careful whose advice you take. Suicide is such a serious and dangerous subject, that discussing it with anonymous peers on the same forum known for conversations like “wallhax suck” and “have you ever farted in front of your girlfriend” is just not appropriate. After scanning through the thread, I have read some things I would never say to a suicidally depressed person including “once you have depression, the feelings of depression never leave.” This sort of irresponsiblity is exactly why you should only discuss such a serious problem with people you actually know in real life.
My main advice for anyone contemplating suicide is to quickly seek professional help from a licensed psychologist and emotional support from only your most trusted friends and family.
In summary: Screw you. I’m leaving this thread before things get out of control.
Ephraim said:
Just before today’s database crash, a certain member posted one of the most classless and insulting things I have ever read. Unfortunately, that post was lost before I could respond, so forgive me if this seems confusing:
Congratulations. You have just become one of only three people I have ever put on my Ignore list. For you to simply assume that I am ignorant of the subject matter and write a long, personally-insulting message based upon two innocent sentences is outrageous. For your information, an intimately close friend of mine has spent years dealing with chronic depression, two old acquaintances I hadn’t seen in ages have committed suicide within the last year, and a very good childhood friend died of an overdose last summer (possibly in a suicide attempt, brought on by the wreck that drugs had left his life and the fact that his ex-girlfriend filed a restraining order on him). I know this subject fairly well. That is why this thread struck so close to home with me. It is also why you have offended me on an unforgivable level. While it is often helpful for people with depression to discuss their problems with friends, family, and people undergoing similar treatment, you must be very careful whose advice you take. Suicide is such a serious and dangerous subject, that discussing it with anonymous peers on the same forum known for conversations like “wallhax suck” and “have you ever farted in front of your girlfriend” is just not appropriate. After scanning through the thread, I have read some things I would never say to a suicidally depressed person including “once you have depression, the feelings of depression never leave.” This sort of irresponsibility is exactly why you should only discuss such a serious problem with people you actually know in real life.
My main advice for anyone contemplating suicide is to quickly seek professional help from a licensed psychologist and emotional support from only your most trusted friends and family.
In summary: Screw you. I’m leaving this thread before things get out of control.
i still love you
and if u need me to beat sum1 up for you i will
Ephraim said:
Just before today’s database crash, a certain member posted one of the most classless and insulting things I have ever read. Unfortunately, that post was lost before I could respond, so forgive me if this seems confusing:
Congratulations. You have just become one of only three people I have ever put on my Ignore list. For you to simply assume that I am ignorant of the subject matter and write a long, personally-insulting message based upon two innocent sentences is outrageous. For your information, an intimately close friend of mine has spent years dealing with chronic depression, two old acquaintances I hadn’t seen in ages have committed suicide within the last year, and a very good childhood friend died of an overdose last summer (possibly in a suicide attempt, brought on by the wreck that drugs had left his life and the fact that his ex-girlfriend filed a restraining order on him). I know this subject fairly well. That is why this thread struck so close to home with me. It is also why you have offended me on an unforgivable level. While it is often helpful for people with depression to discuss their problems with friends, family, and people undergoing similar treatment, you must be very careful whose advice you take. Suicide is such a serious and dangerous subject, that discussing it with anonymous peers on the same forum known for conversations like “wallhax suck” and “have you ever farted in front of your girlfriend” is just not appropriate. After scanning through the thread, I have read some things I would never say to a suicidally depressed person including “once you have depression, the feelings of depression never leave.” This sort of irresponsiblity is exactly why you should only discuss such a serious problem with people you actually know in real life.
My main advice for anyone contemplating suicide is to quickly seek professional help from a licensed psychologist and emotional support from only your most trusted friends and family.
In summary: Screw you. I’m leaving this thread before things get out of control.
I agree.
Also, I can think of only one person (at the present) who could write what you described. Maybe two, but I haven’t seen one of them in a while.
My only mistake was writing “pscycological studies” instead of “licensed psycologist.” Aside from that, I stand by everything I wrote. For the record, I was never saying that people struggling with depression shouldn’t talk about their problems. I was just saying that they should reserve this for the closest of friends, family, and psycological authorities; not anonymous internet-friends.
‘kay I’m don. Got way too *edited*ed off for a single thread.
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