Joke of the Day Thread

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  • #71734
    newrayz
    Spectator

    this one is no joke, but funny as hell:

     

     

    What they don’t tell you, is that the lady who owned the chimp gave him a Xanex 20 minutes before he flipped out. I feel bad for the ape tbh lol.

    #71740
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Ugh, I heard about that. It’s not funny; I’m not even sure why it’s in the Joke of the Day thread.

     

    Also, I read in ABC’s article that Xanax can be given to animals (you’d have to speak to a doctor about it or something, though), but it can cause maniacal behavior in unstable patients.

     

    I think it’s stupid that people think they can raise them like children.

    #71744
    AMerrill
    Spectator

    It is sad what happened but the 911 call was funny.

     

    That video only has part of the 911 call, you should listed to the entire call.

     

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/911_R…t_New_York.html

    #71748
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    .cb new_rayz said:

    this one is no joke, but funny as hell:

     

     

    What they don’t tell you, is that the lady who owned the chimp gave him a Xanex 20 minutes before he flipped out. I feel bad for the ape tbh lol.

    wanna hear something uber funny…. my mom was on the street when it happened

     

     

    GG MOM

    #71752
    B R I E F S
    Spectator

    I heard that *edited* dirty ape was your mom….

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    <3

    #71753
    newrayz
    Spectator

    torankusu said:

    Ugh, I heard about that. It’s not funny; I’m not even sure why it’s in the Joke of the Day thread.

     

    Also, I read in ABC’s article that Xanax can be given to animals (you’d have to speak to a doctor about it or something, though), but it can cause maniacal behavior in unstable patients.

     

    I think it’s stupid that people think they can raise them like children.

     

    Yeah, what bothers me is the fact that a 70 lady can legally own a 200 pound chimpanzee.

     

    I feel really bad now, the lady has no eyes or nose or lower jaw. the chimp ripped them out. X_x

    #71762
    B R I E F S
    Spectator

    .cb new_rayz said:

    Yeah, what bothers me is the fact that a 70 lady can legally own a 200 pound chimpanzee.

     

    I feel really bad now, the lady has no eyes or nose or lower jaw. the chimp ripped them out. X_x

    you lie. no, for real?

    #71766
    Ephraim
    Spectator

    She’s being treated by the clinic that performed the first succesful face transplant.

    #71779
    YouWinGameOver
    Spectator

    torankusu said:

    Ugh, I heard about that. It’s not funny; I’m not even sure why it’s in the Joke of the Day thread.

     

    Also, I read in ABC’s article that Xanax can be given to animals (you’d have to speak to a doctor about it or something, though), but it can cause maniacal behavior in unstable patients.

     

    I think it’s stupid that people think they can raise them like children.

    She was grandfathered into the system. She got the Chimp when it was legal to take care of them and there was no real regulation. (14yrs ago is when she got him) The law states that you are now able to keep a chimp until 50lbs. But because she was grandfathered in there was no requirement in which she had to let the chimp go.

     

     

    On a side note I think my dad met her and the chimp one time?!?!?!?

    #71793
    torankusu
    Spectator

    I still think it’s stupid to think you can raise an animal like a person. It’s too bad that her friend was disfigured. If the owner were the one who were attacked, I’d say she kinda had it coming.

    #71814
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    imma own a cheetah one day

    #71817
    YouWinGameOver
    Spectator

    I think any exotic animal can be owned if you have a license and keep it under 50lbs.

    #71825
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    YouWinGameOver said:

    I think any exotic animal can be owned if you have a license and keep it under 50lbs.

    lol my cheetah will hit the gym all day long then

    #71842
    Bitey
    Spectator

    It is a universal problem, people even do this with dogs, the fact is that unless you are the leader of the group you will have no control over what the animal does, and even then there are other parts of the animals life that as humans we can never understand.

    #71904
    Dankst@
    Spectator

    joke of the day peopleee….

     

     

    A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ”House” for instance, is feminine: ”la casa.” ”Pencil,” however, is masculine: el lápiz.”

     

    A student asked, ”What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ”computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

     

    The men’s group decided that ”computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computadora”), because:

     

    1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

    3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval.

    4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

     

    The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador”), because:

     

    1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

    2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.

    3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

    4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

     

    The women won.

    #71907
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Haha, that was good. The funny thing is it’s really la computadora.

    #71917
    Dankst@
    Spectator

    guys rule and girls drool lol

Viewing 17 posts - 31 through 47 (of 47 total)
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