Joke of the Day Thread

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  • #6673
    newrayz
    Spectator

    So I figured we ought to have a joke thread, for kicks, for laughs, for just a grand ole time. Feel free to post any jokes you know. They can be your own creation, or the wittiness of someone else.

     

    Letterman said:

    I was walking in central park today, and it was so hot, I actually witnessed a squirrel putting sun tan lotion on his nuts.
    #71351
    adam37
    Spectator

    Yo Momma so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

    #71354
    Poopie
    Spectator

    yo mama so fat, she needed 16k to buy armor

    #71355

    Poopie said:

    yo mama so fat, she needed 16k to buy armor

     

    WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #71365
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Poopie said:

    yo mama so fat, she needed 16k to buy armor

    LOL, WIN INDEED.

     

    I’m not going to post it cuz it’s really long, so here’s a link.

     

    It’s… THE LONGEST JOKE IN THE WORLD.

     

    Supposedly.

     

    http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-…-joke-ever.html

     

    When I first read through it, my reaction was, “LOLWTF.” Everyone I’ve showed it to has had the same reaction. It’s really dumb, but I laffed.

    #71378
    newrayz
    Spectator

    torankusu said:

    LOL, WIN INDEED.

     

    I’m not going to post it cuz it’s really long, so here’s a link.

     

    It’s… THE LONGEST JOKE IN THE WORLD.

     

    Supposedly.

     

    http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-…-joke-ever.html

     

    When I first read through it, my reaction was, “LOLWTF.” Everyone I’ve showed it to has had the same reaction. It’s really dumb, but I laffed.

     

     

    Okay I was about to read it, but this Youtube video distracted me rofl.

     

     

    Then he waddled away! waddle waddle :lol: 😆 :lol:

    #71407
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    Knock Knock

    Who’s there?

    9/11

    9/11 who?

    YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    …..exit stage left

    #71410
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Haha, that was cute, rayz. xP

    #71414
    Ephraim
    Spectator

    So, a little girl walks into her family’s bathroom to discover her mother showering and her father shaving at the sink…

     

    [censored]

     

    “About ten minutes from now when your mother leaves.”

     

    *takes bow

    #71423
    torankusu
    Spectator

    So… did I miss something or did you just take out the part necessary to understand the punchline?

    #71424
    adam37
    Spectator

    MajorMajorMajor said:

    Knock Knock

    Who’s there?

    9/11

    9/11 who?

    YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    …..exit stage left

     

     

    LOL i about spit out my water when i read that hahahaha

    #71425
    Ephraim
    Spectator

    torankusu said:

    So… did I miss something or did you just take out the part necessary to understand the punchline?

     

    Yes, but I don’t want to get yelled at. Trust me, it’s funny.

    #71428
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Ephraim said:

    Yes, but I don’t want to get yelled at. Trust me, it’s funny.

    Now I’m curious… pm me. xP

    #71440
    newrayz
    Spectator

    torankusu said:

    Now I’m curious… pm me. xP

     

    me too!!

     

    i have no idea where your joke was going Ephraim, lemme in on the juice! B)

    #71451
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    .cb new_rayz said:

    me too!!

     

    i have no idea where your joke was going Ephraim, lemme in on the juice! B)

    i think he should just post it and run

     

     

    Liam wont be able to catch up :P

    #71484
    torankusu
    Spectator

    Come on, Ephraim. @_@

    #71529
    YouWinGameOver
    Spectator

    all these jokes are wicked old but good

    #71530
    YouWinGameOver
    Spectator

    all these jokes are wicked old but good

    #71543
    Ephraim
    Spectator

    #71554
    Dankst@
    Spectator

    A young man goes to a *edited*house to expierence his first taste of sex.

     

    The madam suggests that he start with 69. He decides to give it a try.

     

    The prostitute leads him to a room, gets undressed, and instructs the young man to eat her out. Unfortunately, just as he starts she farts.

     

    The man quietly says to himself, “phew”, but he goes down on her again.

     

    A moment later she farts again. He says “phew”, but continues.

     

    Once more she farts. This time he immediately gets up and starts walking out. She asks him what’s wrong, and he replies “I don’t think I can take another 66 of those!”

    #71559
    torankusu
    Spectator

    LOL.

    #71676
    Bitey
    Spectator

    My uncle worked for an M&M factory checking to make sure all M&Ms manufactured were in pristine order, it was a great job and really helped provide for his family but unfortunately he was fired shortly after being hired…

     

    He kept throwing out all the Ws…

    #71678
    newrayz
    Spectator

    last two jokes were hilarious.

     

    To Ephraim: the rest of that first joke you sent, did not see that coming. lol my initial reaction was to laugh, but by laughing I got the joke, therefore I think I may be going to hell along with you Eph. rofl

     

    For the Thread:

     

    I walk into bathrooms both for relief and to keep up with the latest stall humor. Although it saddens me when all the radical christian groups blot out all the funny jokes, and replace them with bible quotes. There was a new one the other day, I found hilarious:

    post-244-1235227025_thumb.jpg

    “Christ would NOT *edited* with bathroom stalls”

    #71680
    Rocket Rob
    Spectator

    Whats the difference between Jesus and Obama?

     

    Jesus was a carpenter.

     

    Obama cant put a cabinet together.

    #71681
    newrayz
    Spectator

    we ought to keep out all the political pokes, i mean jokes. Things could just get nasty =/

     

    lol but that was pretty funny

    #71697
    torankusu
    Spectator

    I wish some people wouldn’t be so uptight. :/

     

    Some Demetri Martin:

     

     

    #71701
    MajorMajorMajor
    Spectator

    Bitey said:

    My uncle worked for an M&M factory checking to make sure all M&Ms manufactured were in pristine order, it was a great job and really helped provide for his family but unfortunately he was fired shortly after being hired…

     

    He kept throwing out all the Ws…

    explains a lot

    #71704
    Rocket Rob
    Spectator

    Obama walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

    bartender says “hey , where did you get that?”

    The parrot says “Africa, there are tons of them over there.”

    #71712
    torankusu
    Spectator

    ROFL.

    #71729
    Ephraim
    Spectator

    .cb new_rayz said:

    To Ephraim: the rest of that first joke you sent, did not see that coming. lol my initial reaction was to laugh, but by laughing I got the joke, therefore I think I may be going to hell along with you Eph. rofl

     

    I believe the supreme being can appreciate a good joke. He created Obama, after all.

     

     

     

     

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