depression and suicide

Ephraim said:

I find it very creepy that people are discussing this on a gaming club forum. If you have actually attempted to kill yourself, then you are in dire need of psycological help and, in all likelihood, medication. The last thing you need to do is discuss your problems with a large collection of college students with no history of psycological studies.

I made this thread assuming no one here has had any history of psychological troubles/history. I made this thread to vent my frustration, I felt like I needed to get some stuff of my chest. Last time I opened up was to my best friend. I told him some pretty *edited*ed up things. It felt good talking to my best friend about it, but he took it pretty bad I guess. He went home and must have been terribly upset, because his parents know about how I’ve been feeling and they called my parents and suggested I go on medication and seek help. I haven’t seen his parents in a few weeks now and I’m scared to go to his house, because I don’t know how to face them. I love them, they’re like a second family to me. However, I have been talking to a friend of mine who has been pretty down lately, she’s not like my best friend or anything, but shes going through a pretty *edited*ty time right now. It feels good talking to someone who is going through something similar. We both promised each other we’d never take our own lives, no matter how hard it gets.

I dunno how I’ve been feeling lately. Sort of in between happy and sad lul.

So I did MDMA tonight lul..I feel really good, and I’m not high anymore. That ruled.

Edit: to add to that..Lately I’ve been doing okay. I didn’t really do much the last couple days other than work and play guitar. I went from being able to play 10-15 minutes of guitar to playing for 4-5+ hours at a time again. I sort of know what I have to do to get out of this, I feel like I can do it on my own, but I’m not 100% sure.