Post a pic of your nipple with a sticky note on it that says “I <3 Mudkips” on it, and I’ll vote for you.
If not, I’ll vote for whoever has the most “porn star-esque” name.
DeLong kinda sounds “porn star-esque” haha! you could easily make the name Joe DeLong perverted or porn star material haha I mean serious…Joseph the Long! haha joys!