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Just the other week, I finally farted in the same room as my gf. It was the deadly silent one. I happened to be right behind her doing some work and it accidentally expelled. I slowly turn to see my gf who was working at her desk (her back facing me) typing what seemed to be roughly 50 words a minute. All of a sudden, she stops typing, turns her head horizontally 90 degrees and then tilts it. Immediately after the firing of her SCM muscles she responded with a, “What was that?”. Luckily, it was one of those ninja farts which quickly engulfs your nostrils with the smell of rotten eggs and then disappears, almost as if it was simply imagined by mistake.
Discuss
One time, my best friend and I had a sleepover and I woke up in the middle of the night and had to fart SO BAD, but couldn’t fart in her presence. She was sleeping beside me, but still, I got out of bed and went to the kitchen, let it rip and went back to my bed.
A wee bit mean, but sometimes me and my ex would be lying down, watching tv or something and I would go in and give her a big hug, and she would go “awwww” and then I would rip one and not let her go.
Good times.
MajorMajorMajor said:
A wee bit mean, but sometimes me and my ex would be lying down, watching tv or something and I would go in and give her a big hug, and she would go “awwww” and then I would rip one and not let her go.
Good times.
Totally still do this…If I didn’t treat the gf like a spoiled princess then she would probably kill me for things like this…
Hmmm I know this situation has arisen with me before. I think i just (painfully) held it in. What’s the worst is when you get diarrhea at ur gf’s house. Worst. Time. Ever.
I let them rip whenever they come, hurts to hold it in and she just laughs anyways lol, of course mine luckily don’t really have much of an odor if any most of the time. They just sound terrible haha
hmm I rip ’em all the time. She keeps saying she’s less and less attracted to me.. but I keep forgetting.
I think I’ve gotten so comfortable that I’ve lost the ability to hold them in anyway.
I guess it’s startling, we’d be doing the dirty thang, and all of the sudden i hear a semi-silent release of air much like a fart, but i definitely heard where it came from. I stop and look down at her, with a “was that you” kinda look. She looked embarrassed, so i just smiled and continued working it.
queefing i feel is 10 times worse than a fart. donno why, but that day still haunts me.
NuRayZ said:
I guess it’s startling, we’d be doing the dirty thang, and all of the sudden i hear a semi-silent release of air much like a fart, but i definitely heard where it came from. I stop and look down at her, with a “was that you” kinda look. She looked embarrassed, so i just smiled and continued working it.
queefing i feel is 10 times worse than a fart. donno why, but that day still haunts me.
at least your face wasn’t down there… not like I’m talking from experience or anything.. um yeah
One time i was cracked out on nyquil and my gf was taking care of me an *edited*. Well she said something to *edited* me off so i grabbed one of my fans and farted into the back side of it so it would shoot towards her…she was angry.
NuRayZ said:
I guess it’s startling, we’d be doing the dirty thang, and all of the sudden i hear a semi-silent release of air much like a fart, but i definitely heard where it came from. I stop and look down at her, with a “was that you” kinda look. She looked embarrassed, so i just smiled and continued working it.
queefing i feel is 10 times worse than a fart. donno why, but that day still haunts me.
It’s funny when a girl queefs b/c the guy makes her do it. My gf got ticked once b/c I kept doing it to her like armpit noises *phblt, phblt, phblt, phblt*.
Duendes said:
Somebody should really write a book or at least a pamphlet on farting etiquette.
There is…go look it up
I had homemade buffalo shrimp tonight (fried obviously) with my gf. It’s hard to do it when you got a deep fried fart bubbling inside ya. I ended up ripping it on the way to the elevator.
Once, I thought I had to fart, ended up *edited*ting my pants. Just thought I’d share that.
My friend who has the most foul, stank, offensive farts lets them rip all the time in front of his GF. It’s actually disgusting.
YouWinGameOver said:
One time I sharted playing tower d on sc and we still won
Now that’s dedication to the team.
YouWinGameOver said:
One time I sharted playing tower d on sc and we still won
I took this to mean that you didn’t get up after sharting, otherwise both activities seem irrelevant to each other. Thinking of it as a non sequitur made me LOL.
No I knew people were gunna read it that way after I posted it. But I got up and went to the bathroom, when I came back there was the victory screen up!
Lemm said:
NuRayZ said:
I guess it’s startling, we’d be doing the dirty thang, and all of the sudden i hear a semi-silent release of air much like a fart, but i definitely heard where it came from. I stop and look down at her, with a “was that you” kinda look. She looked embarrassed, so i just smiled and continued working it.
queefing i feel is 10 times worse than a fart. donno why, but that day still haunts me.
at least your face wasn’t down there… not like I’m talking from experience or anything.. um yeah
True story my friend called me up late one night I though he got arrested or something calling me so late. He says he was down there and she busted in his face. I couldnt stop loling I called clava after to tell him the epicness.
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