This should be looked at purely as a militarial issue. If Obama were to talk to a series of high-ranking military officials, and they each said that allowing homosexuals to openly serve would not cause any major morale problems, then let them in. Otherwise, the current system works.
As for women in the military: I think it’s fine for them to serve, as long as they are trained using the same standards as men. None of this “take it easy on them in the name of equality” nonsense. The opposing army is trying to KILL YOU.