FW: The way it is. Just saying.

Found this on another board. Mildly hilarious.

X-Grunt said:

Dear Tech Support:

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that

the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of

space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into

all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 10.0, NBT 9.5, and Strip Club 3.6. I can’t

seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite

applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the

uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

 

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

 

______________________________________

 

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

 

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

 

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is

just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM

and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to

delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to

uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!

 

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not

allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child

Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the

situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to

alleviate software augmentation.

 

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because

ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system

will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife

1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook

It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

 

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause

the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only

way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional

software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short

Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause

irreversible damage to the operating system.

 

Best of luck,

Tech Support